My Stephen King-Themed Gingerbread Cookies

Because I’m just not someone who gets into the Yuletide spirit, I generally welcome any opportunity for irreverence during the holiday season. I am also married to a wonderful woman who appreciates this about me despite her own unabashed love of Christmastime. So when Steph offered me a portion of her homemade gingerbread dough to make whatever I wanted, I jumped at the chance to turn a funny dream into a funny reality: a series of Stephen King-themed gingerbread cookies (pictured above).

As you can probably tell, I’m neither a professional cookie baker nor a professional cookie decorator. (And, in fact, I think this is the first time I’ve made gingerbread cookies as an adult.) What’s more, the icing I used ended up being much, much runnier than expected. (Live and learn, I guess.) Still, I don’t think they came out a total disaster. A few even wound up looking better than I thought they would (thanks mostly to Steph’s advice and occasional interventions). If nothing else, they’re certainly an unintentionally funny reality.

Looking at the cookies in the photo from left-to-right, top-to-bottom, they are (or, were supposed to be):

  • Rose the Hat’s hat from Doctor Sleep (2013)
  • the passkey to Room 217 from The Shining (1977)
  • Randall Flagg’s yellow smiley face button from The Stand (1978)
  • a vial containing “Lot Six” from Firestarter (1980)
  • a dog collar name tag for Cujo (1981)
  • Father Donald Callahan’s glowing cross from ‘Salem’s Lot (1975)
  • Georgie Denbrough’s paper boat from It (1986)
  • the key to Arnie Cunningham’s 1958 Plymouth Fury from Christine (1983)
  • Mr. Jingles from The Green Mile (1996)
  • the pet cemetery sign from Pet Sematary (1983)
  • the carnival wheel of fortune from The Dead Zone (1979)
  • the “White Commission Report” from Carrie (1974)
  • Andy Dufresne’s rock hammer from Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (1982)
  • the Crimson King’s sigul from the Dark Tower series (1982-2012)
  • Paul Sheldon’s severed foot from Misery (1987)

Happy Holidays, everybody — but especially you, my fellow “Constant Readers.”

My Ten Favorite Books of 2020

My Ten Favorite Books of 2020

With so many publications, organizations, and individuals naming their “Best Books of 2020,” I thought I’d share a list of my ten favorite titles published this year. You can find it (and others) over at my Bookshop affiliate page.

NOTE: All of these titles were independently reviewed and selected. However, if you buy any of them through my affiliate page, I may earn a commission from Bookshop.org, whose mission is to “financially support local, independent bookstores.”